I am good at writing and making jokes and cleaning.I would make a wonderful wife, and I would spend the rest of my life trying to selflessly love and serve my husband.I am good at writing and making jokes and cleaning. I would love to pass my days maneuvering a minivan full of foster kids to soccer games and recitals and tutoring.None of these things would be diminished because of my size, yet none of them seem to matter because of my size.Let’s start with you, because a) you wrote me the note, and b) you’re an online dating anomaly – an honest size 10 who doesn’t claim to be athletic and toned.However, after talking to your male co-workers and observing that you’re not being contacted, you have to be asking yourself – is it REALLY in my best interests to tell the truth if 95% of guys are going to dismiss me for doing so?
I hear it in the concerned tones of mentors and parents who repeat phrases such as, “You’ve got such a pretty face,” and “I know you want to be married someday. ” [How the search for a soulmate went from church potlucks to Tinder] Every ounce of my being cringes, because they’re probably right. I am talented and opinionated and passionate and valuable.
Dating as an overweight woman is significantly more difficult.
Dating as an overweight Christian woman is seemingly impossible.
“I see how so much of love is physical attraction, especially at the beginning. It’s not the one I wanted to believe.” In the latest episode of the “This American Life” podcast, Elna Baker discussed her journey of losing 100 pounds only to grow frustrated with the superficial attention she began to attract.
We resist the narrative of physical attraction dictating love, especially inside the walls of the church where we hope to find much more stringent, substantive dating criteria than waist size, but maybe Elna’s onto something.